The truth about other people’s children

Happy new year! Now that the season of sending beautifully photographed Christmas cards featuring the cutest kids in their best clothes is over, I can now tell the truth.

Thank you for those Christmas cards. They help me keep track of how many children you have. Because here is the truth:

  1. Your first child: We will learn their name and their sex.
  2. Your second child: We will know they exist and we will be, on average, 50% correct about their sex.
  3. Your third+ child: We will know they exist only when your Christmas card comes around. (“Dang! They had a 3rd kid? When? That kid looks like it’s been alive for a while! Was she pregnant?”)
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